Halloween Book Review: Monstermatt’s Bad Monster Jokes

by thiszine

MONSTERMATT’S BAD MONSTER JOKES (VOLUME 1)
by Monstermatt Patterson

May December Publications, LLC
(September 2010, $12.95, 166 pages)

Know someone who is into everything and anything to do with monsters? If this person is also the type who looks forward to Halloween more than any other holiday, then I have the perfect gift suggestion for this October: Monstermatt’s Bad Monster Jokes Vol. 1. The monsters aren’t bad but rather the jokes are…intentionally. This book is the gift of self-torment, kind of like Jackass-meets-literature for horror fans (you know, “insert pencil into eye” kind of torment).

The introduction by Joe Moe describes the development of Matt’s love of cheesy jokes, and points out that Matt lives and breathes monsters as an FX monster mask sculptor and horror host. Kyle Kaczmarczyk, the illustrator for this joke book, also adds a tale of his personal experience with Matt and includes a brief explanation of how this collaboration came to be.

The jokes include all the traditional monsters like Dracula, Frankenstein and the Mummy, as well as aliens, zombies (of course! why else would I be reviewing this book?!) and superheroes. Matt even goes to town on the Jersey Shore cast, True Blood, Star Wars, and, sadly, the Human Centipede (which has traumatized me for life – Google the movie at your own risk, and have a bucket nearby to puke in). Some of the jokes are the kind my five-year-old likes to tell me and some of them are the kind of jokes you could share if you want to alienate people who annoy you.

Example of child’s joke:
Q: What moon phase will turn a baker into a Werewolf?
A: A “Croissant” moon!

On the other end is anything from the song parody section that is sure to kill your social life – you might even be able to get yourself arrested and/or committed, and no one will ever ask you for anything ever again.

One of my personal social life-killing favorites:
Q: What do you get if you cross a British sci-fi TV show and a Dr. Seuss book?
A: Horton hears a Dr. Who!

I really enjoyed reading this assortment of bad jokes, some of which aren’t quite that bad, and I don’t think any household should be without a copy this Halloween! You can see how insanely talented Matt is here.

– Ursula K. Raphael

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